It's been awhile since anything in the news did more than make me depressed. So you can imagine my unbridled joy this morning when I discovered not one, but two fantastic items out on the wires of this fine, fine, dysfunctional country.
Let's begin with the Jet Blue flight attendant who did what every sick-of-my-crap-job-and-all-the-overentitled-jackasses-that-come-with-it has wanted to do since actually having to work for a living was invented. He hurled obscenties, grabbed some beer, made a triumphant exit down an inflatable slide, and went straight home to have sex with his boyfriend. My god this man is fantastic.
And then, because no "I Give You America!" post could possibly be complete without an update from the great state of Alaska, we learn today that Levi Johnston - moose hunter, impregnator, King D-Bag - is running for mayor of wee Wasilla. It's almost baffling that one small town could turn out so many dopes, but then, it's the dopes - especially the dopes that pose for Playgirl and/or like to make up new words "like Shakespeare" - that make the news just this much fun. Give it up for Wasilla everybody. Wasilla.
